Hello My Dear Friends,

I hope you are doing well. I am doing well. Summer still has not arrived here. So, what happened over the past few days?

Umeå started turning back into its skeleton and bone form again. I kept saying goodbye, again and again… Sadness began climbing from my fingernails to my hands, like stepping into an anthill.

Alice left, and of course, the ants hit the brain too. Alice was a very precious soul to me. At a time when my soul had fallen into a well, she became sunlight for me. The way she lived life took me to that moment of pressing play on an incredible documentary, or to that instant in an anonymous song that makes you say, "Oh, what is this song?"

She left, but she is already so much inside me that it feels as if she has not left at all!!

Image: Carrying a mattress foam with a shopping cart is basically being a truck..

Then, dear friends, yesterday I officially started an internship for the first time. I am in the REAL lab, together with very long attosecond beams. I will be doing my own experiment. Yesterday, in the middle of the process, I fell asleep in the office. I am also moving at the same time, damn it, and I do not even have a bed.

Then Physics and I had a fight; we are in a cold war right now. Music slipped between us almost like a mistress. Actually, we had never really fallen out before. I used to see music and writing as friends too. Youthful energy, I guess.

I have been in Sweden for 10 months. Easy to say, but I have learned so many things, and forgotten so many things...

Moving to Sweden felt like heavy traffic inside me. It was the first time I had gone abroad for more than 3 days. At first, I could not understand what was happening. Good God, where am I?

Then we wandered around a bit, loved and fell in love, tied ourselves into tight knots. We formed a band, started our own song, joy upon joy. Then I came to Turkey for a concert. In Troubadour style, mind you. (Apparently it is "usulü"; I thought it was "usülü", ah ah.)

Then suddenly I realized I had exams for solid state physics and statistical physics, and for the first time in my life, I did not take an exam. I was in a bad period. After that, I devoted myself to those courses for a month. Happy ending... Retake exams exist to be passed, of course!

Life in Sweden is going the way 10-year-old Suyan and 20-year-old Suyan thought it would go. At school, there are only three grades: "G, VG, F" (Good, very good, mm-mm nope).

People approach everything very simply. Naturally, this crushed my maximalist understanding of culture. In every bond I formed, I felt the threads of my sweater coming undone one by one.

It was as if my brain had been formatted. But the strange thing is, when I returned to Turkey, I started seeing everything much more clearly. It was as if I had bought a new lens for my own soul.

While stopping by Poland at the end of the first semester, during my visit to Ms. Başak Karataş, a camera friend accompanied me. With that camera, I began reflecting this change of lens. I looked at myself and said, Good God, so this is how I was able to see life. It was nice. I was pleased with this exchange.

Winter… Winter was a disaster… My body, writhing in pain at -25 degrees, was also deprived of sunlight, and this time a different layer wrapped itself around my head. My soul, nourished by subtleties, began calibrating sorrow as well.

Time was only 3 hours. I did what I could under the parasitic shadow of the sun, which barely showed itself and only sent its messenger.

So, that is a messy summary.

Thank you very much for coming to celebrate the launch of this new website, which was a birthday gift from my dear older brother.

Stay Well